I went to lunch with .....

I went to lunch with someone today I didn't want to But he asked And you've not been around to take me He was kind He poured my salad dressing He pulled out my chair But he wasn't you He asked me about my family He complimented me on my hair He told me I had an angelic smile But he wasn't you He thinks my fascination with the planets & the stars is "cute" He dresses nice He's got his pentacles dialed in He's got great taste in cars But he wasn't you To be honest, he made me think about you again I hadn't thought about you since Christmas I went an entire week I didn't think about the way you used to kiss me when I was the star in your eyes I didn't think of our five position nights or the way our spooning defined the word "perfection" My mid day brunch with someone who seems "perfect" ended up making me think about everything imperfect that I love about you. You would have been critiquing me about my business Your attention would have felt scattered I would have felt "not good enough" You would have felt the same We always had that unworthy thing going on I imagined you at a corner booth rooting me on Telling me "I deserve better than you" I imagined you telling me to put my phone away I imagined you saying "he'll treat you better" I imagined you reminding me that "you've got problems" Problems that I guess aren't worth working on Or maybe just not with me I went to lunch today, He wasn't you If he had been you, my ass would have been grabbed at least once I would have checked a mirror out of my own insecurities. I always wanted to look pretty for you. If it had been with you, we may have ended up fighting over nothing of any significance Or maybe having sex against the wall in the back of the restaurant It always depended on the day...didn't it dear I'm sorry I've not called, not emailed not reached out... I guess I thought you wouldn't notice I think we've said all that needs to be said Everything but the truth The truth takes masks being burned and the discovery of what is real and what is not That seems to hold a bit too much depth So instead.... Instead I went to lunch today But he wasn't you